She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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