He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize