I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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