Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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