idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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