Can i not drive my cunt home
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize