it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
