problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
