I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
