i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Girls should come with a carfax report
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
