he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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