Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
