u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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