Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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