This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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