My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
