Moan for me like Helen Keller
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
