And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
