ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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