Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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