ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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