do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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