margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
