in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize