I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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