all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
