i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
