just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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