So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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