The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
