i jhust puked up my retainher.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just puked most of my soul out..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
