D3 body, D1 cock
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
