omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize