I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
accomplished twins. life is a go
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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