Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
