i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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