come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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