can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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