Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
