Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
