Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
