I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
