they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize