I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
