Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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