There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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