I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
