i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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