i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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