come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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