one might say we're banned from that church
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
