yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
