so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
