he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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