hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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