Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My bed smells like the plague
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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