I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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