considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
